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You All Grow Up and Leave Me

A Memoir of Teenage Obsession

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

"Unflinching, rich and revelatory."—MEGAN ABBOTT

"Gorgeous, moody, and evocative . . . half coming-of-age story and half exhaustively researched true crime." VANITY FAIR

"Bracingly honest and extremely discomfiting, this book is like a riveting episode of Law & Order: SVU set at a Manhattan prep school with the U.S. Open as a backdrop."—MARIE CLAIRE

A riveting blend of true crime and coming-of-age memoir— The Stranger Beside Me meets Prep—that presents an intimate and thought-provoking portrait of girlhood within Manhattan's exclusive private-school scene in the early 1990s, and a thoughtful meditation on adolescent obsession and the vulnerability of youth.

Piper Weiss was fourteen years old when her middle-aged tennis coach, Gary Wilensky, one of New York City's most prestigious private instructors, killed himself after a failed attempt to kidnap one of his teenage students. In the aftermath, authorities discovered that this well-known figure among the Upper East Side tennis crowd was actually a frightening child predator who had built a secret torture chamber—a "Cabin of Horrors"—in his secluded rental in the Adirondacks.

Before the shocking scandal broke, Piper had been thrilled to be one of "Gary's Girls." "Grandpa Gary," as he was known among his students, was different from other adults—he treated Piper like a grown-up, taking her to dinners, engaging in long intimate conversations with her, and sending her special valentines. As reporters swarmed her private community in the wake of Wilensky's death, Piper learned that her mentor was a predator with a sordid history of child stalking and sexual fetish. But why did she still feel protective of Gary, and why was she disappointed that he hadn't chosen her?

Now, twenty years later, Piper examines the event as both a teenage eyewitness and a dispassionate investigative reporter, hoping to understand and exorcise the childhood memories that haunt her to this day. Combining research, interviews, and personal records, You All Grow Up and Leave Me explores the psychological manipulation by child predators—their ability to charm their way into seemingly protected worlds—and the far-reaching effects their actions have on those who trust them most.

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    • Library Journal

      December 1, 2017

      Part true crime, part coming-of-age story, Weiss's memoir details the time she spent training with Gary Wilensky, a popular private tennis coach to Upper East Side prep school students during the 1990s. Wilensky was affectionately known as "Grandpa Gary" in the prep school tennis circuit, and it was considered an honor to be coached by him and considered one of "Gary's girls." It was not until the parents of one of his students grew suspicious of his increasingly obsessive behavior toward their daughter that his true persona emerged. After Wilensky's failed attempt to kidnap this student, investigators uncovered a "cabin of horrors" in the Adirondacks, where Wilensky had stockpiled bondage gear and surveillance equipment. Weiss provides an eyewitness account of the scandal and what it was like to be coached by a child predator. VERDICT The author uses interviews, police reports, and her own hindsight to sort through memories that have disturbed her since adolescence. Haunting.--Erin Shea, Ferguson Lib., CT

      Copyright 2017 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Kirkus

      February 15, 2018
      A woman who grew up under the tutelage of a predatory child molester shares her story.As a youth in Manhattan, Weiss (My Mom, Style Icon, 2011) was a tennis hopeful at "one of the top private schools in the country." Her memoir, a lyrically crafted yet unsettling affair, opens on a bus, with she and her classmates on their way to tennis lessons. She learned about Gary Wilensky, an in-demand private coach who became popular with many other girls at the school. The book's framework is culled from police reports, articles, interviews, personal field research, and Wilensky's own words, transcribed from documents. Through this dogged research, Weiss charts Wilensky's early life and his sketchy employment history and then moves into his private life, which became increasingly disturbing and sinister, ultimately revealing the shrouded world of a sexual obsessive who preyed on vulnerable, unassuming young girls. Running alongside this narrative is the story of the author's privileged upbringing and adolescent experiences, which paint a multitonal portrait of a girl in flux with schoolwork, insecurities, desires to succeed and discover herself, all while blissfully unaware of the predatory deviant lurking beneath the facade of a goofy middle-aged tennis coach who was cool with all the kids. By the time the author had her first tennis lessons with "Grandpa Gary" in the early 1990s, he had already amassed a group of favorite girls to whom he'd send valentines and divulge intimate secrets. Wilensky also began fully furnishing a remote cabin hideaway with bondage and torture equipment and surveillance technology. Was Weiss his next victim? No one will ever know; Wilensky killed himself after the failed kidnapping attempt of a mother and daughter he'd been stalking. Weiss has crafted a dark and brooding yet brisk and eloquently written memoir, and her vivid coming-of-age narration shines a spotlight on the precarious relationship between teenagers and adults and everything that can go awry in between.A bristling, harrowing journey into the life of a stalker and his unsuspecting victims.

      COPYRIGHT(2018) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Booklist

      February 1, 2018
      In a combination of memoir and true crime, Weiss evokes her early 1990s teenage years and her involvement with a private tennis coach named Gary Wilensky. A child of privilege who lived on Park Avenue in New York, Weiss was part of a coterie of wealthy prepubescent and pubescent girls who were Wilensky's students. Well known in New York tennis circles, Wilensky was popular with his students, who called themselves Gary's Girls. Little did they know that he was a secret stalker obsessed with his students, one in particular whom he attempted, fecklessly, to kidnap. Failing, he committed suicide. The case was a sensation in 1993 but is now largely forgotten except by Weiss, who proves to have something of an obsession of her own with the case. Her story is divided between the early nineties and the near present. The true-crime part of her book is significantly more interesting than her report of her own unexceptional life as a well-to-do teen. As a result, this one is strictly for true-crime fans.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2018, American Library Association.)

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