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Losing My Cool

How a Father's Love and 15,000 Books Beat Hip-hop Culture

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
A pitch-perfect account of how hip-hop culture drew in the author and how his father drew him out again-with love, perseverance, and fifteen thousand books.
Into Williams's childhood home-a one-story ranch house-his father crammed more books than the local library could hold. "Pappy" used some of these volumes to run an academic prep service; the rest he used in his unending pursuit of wisdom. His son's pursuits were quite different-"money, hoes, and clothes." The teenage Williams wore Medusa- faced Versace sunglasses and a hefty gold medallion, dumbed down and thugged up his speech, and did whatever else he could to fit into the intoxicating hip-hop culture that surrounded him. Like all his friends, he knew exactly where he was the day Biggie Smalls died, he could recite the lyrics to any Nas or Tupac song, and he kept his woman in line, with force if necessary.
But Pappy, who grew up in the segregated South and hid in closets so he could read Aesop and Plato, had a different destiny in mind for his son. For years, Williams managed to juggle two disparate lifestyles- "keeping it real" in his friends' eyes and studying for the SATs under his father's strict tutelage. As college approached and the stakes of the thug lifestyle escalated, the revolving door between Williams's street life and home life threatened to spin out of control. Ultimately, Williams would have to decide between hip-hop and his future. Would he choose "street dreams" or a radically different dream- the one Martin Luther King spoke of or the one Pappy held out to him now?
Williams is the first of his generation to measure the seductive power of hip-hop against its restrictive worldview, which ultimately leaves those who live it powerless. Losing My Cool portrays the allure and the danger of hip-hop culture like no book has before. Even more remarkably, Williams evokes the subtle salvation that literature offers and recounts with breathtaking clarity a burgeoning bond between father and son.
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    • Library Journal

      May 15, 2010
      First-time author Williams offers a revealing memoir on a par with James McBride's "The Color of Water: A Black Man's Tribute to His White Mother" (1996) and Bakari Kitwana's more scholarly "The Hip Hop Generation: Young Blacks and the Crisis in African American Culture" (2002). "Losing My Cool" is the story of a mixed-race young man's intellectual journey, in which he examines the impact of cultural forces on today's youth. Williams effectively conveys the convergences and dichotomies that his life comes to reflect: frontin' with his boyz vs. mandated study with his taciturn father. As the story unfolds and Williams takes to philosophical self-examination, this juxtaposition highlights the tenuous balance today's youth face in traversing the path between peer/cultural pressure and intellectual success, while examining the negative effect one's cultural identification can have both on the individual and the collective. VERDICT Recommended for YA readers, undergraduates, and readers in sociology or urban studies.Jewell Anderson, Armstrong Atlantic State Univ. Lib, Savannah, GA

      Copyright 2010 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Booklist

      Starred review from May 15, 2010
      Growing up in Westfield, New Jersey, with a father who loved wisdom and ran an SAT prep business in a home crammed with books, Williams blithely ignored all that in favor of the hip-hop culture he heard and saw on BET. He spent his youth meticulously studying and imitating images of cool and thuggishness and listening to music that glorified misogyny, violence, and bling. The objective was to be authentically black, despite his white mother and erudite father. He modeled the thug life with a hair-trigger temper that led to fights and a ghetto-fabulous girlfriend, living on the margins of drug dealing. At Georgetown, he continued the cool persona until he began to gradually face up to evidence that it would lead to failure and that a more interesting life might be available to him. Only then does he acknowledge the gift of his fathers efforts to get him to appreciate the value of being able to truly and deeply think for himself. This is more than a coming-of-age story; it is an awakening, as Williams blends Dostoyevsky and Jay-Z in a compelling memoir and analysis of urban youth culture.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2010, American Library Association.)

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