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Title details for They Called Us Exceptional by Prachi Gupta - Available

They Called Us Exceptional

And Other Lies That Raised Us

by Prachi Gupta
Prachi Gupta
Audiobook
1 of 3 copies available
Borrow Listen to a sample Listen to a sample
1 of 3 copies available
“In this vulnerable and courageous memoir, Prachi Gupta takes the myth of the exceptional Indian American family to task.”—The Washington Post

“I read it in one sitting. Wow. It aims right at the tender spot where racism, sexism, and family dynamics collide, and somehow manages to be both searingly honest and deeply compassionate.”—Celeste Ng, New York Times bestselling author of Little Fires Everywhere

LONGLISTED FOR THE PEN/OPEN BOOK AWARD • A SHE READS BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR • ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE SEASON: The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Boston Globe, Bustle

How do we understand ourselves when the story about who we are supposed to be is stronger than our sense of self? What do we stand to gain—and lose—by taking control of our narrative?
Family defined the cultural identity of Prachi and her brother, Yush, connecting them to a larger Indian American community amid white suburbia. But their belonging was predicated on a powerful myth: the idea that Asian Americans, and Indian Americans in particular, have perfected the alchemy of middle-class life, raising tight-knit, high-achieving families that are immune to hardship. Molding oneself to fit this image often comes at a steep, but hidden, cost. In They Called Us Exceptional, Gupta articulates the dissonance, shame, and isolation of being upheld as an American success story while privately navigating traumas the world says do not exist.
Gupta addresses her story to her mother, braiding a deeply vulnerable personal narrative with history, postcolonial theory, and research on mental health to show how she slowly made sense of her reality and freed herself from the pervasive, reductive myth that had once defined her. But tragically, the act that liberated Gupta was also the act that distanced her from those she loved most. By charting her family’s slow unraveling, and her determination to break the cycle, Gupta shows how traditional notions of success keep us disconnected from ourselves and one another—and passionately argues why we must orient ourselves toward compassion over belonging.

  • Creators

  • Publisher

  • Release date

    August 22, 2023

  • Formats

    • OverDrive Listen audiobook

      • ISBN: 9780593786437
      • File size: 273804 KB
      • Duration: 09:30:25

  • Languages

    • English

  • Reviews

    • Publisher's Weekly

      Starred review from August 14, 2023
      In this passionate memoir, journalist Gupta (AOC: Fighter, Phenom, Changemaker) details the stresses she endured growing up in a volatile Indian American family. Addressing her estranged mother directly, Gupta reveals how she survived a household in which her life was tightly managed by her controlling father, who was plagued by violent moods and intolerant of the slightest deviation from his directions. Meanwhile, Gupta’s mother regularly excused her father’s aggression and hostility. To please her parents, Gupta became a stereotypical high-achieving Indian American student but grew keenly aware that she was discriminated against—by her family and others—because of her gender. She painfully traces how her nuclear family splintered, highlighting her youngest brother’s struggles with mental illness and his shift from close, loving sibling to an antagonist who came to view her as a “hateful” feminist. Ultimately, Gupta found liberation by pursuing a career in writing and distancing herself from her parents: while she still hopes to reconcile with them, she “no longer live in the space where I tell myself that if I silence or shrink myself, I can one day have that ideal relationship with you both.” Her startling candor and willingness to confront painful truths make this sing. Readers who’ve broken free from toxic family dynamics—or are hoping to do so—will want to check it out. Agent: Anna Sproul-Latimer, Neon Literary.

    • Library Journal

      February 1, 2024

      Award-winning journalist Gupta (AOC: Fighter, Phenom, Changemaker) reveals how the perfection demanded by her father, in line with the myth of the model minority, fractured her and her family. In a memoir that addresses her mother, Gupta describes how her controlling father strove to force his family to become "perfect" Indian Americans--successful, well-off, ambitious, and seamlessly integrated into the fabric of American life. He ultimately created trauma within the family, pitting its members against each other with his volatile moods and misogynistic attitudes. Gupta obeyed her father's wishes, becoming the high-achieving daughter he wanted, but she eventually found that she had to separate herself from her family to be happy. She narrates the audiobook, allowing her vulnerability to show and communicating the pain of being distant from her mother. Her emotional tones and engaging pacing pull listeners into her story of coming to terms with her complicated, often dysfunctional family. VERDICT This candid and compassionate account reveals the cost of impossible expectations and the courage necessary to find oneself. For fans of Qian Julie Wang's Beautiful Country or Safiya Sinclair's How To Say Babylon.--Anna Ching-Yu Wong

      Copyright 2024 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Formats

  • OverDrive Listen audiobook

subjects

Languages

  • English

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